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tumblrsteakx10:

veganelfprincess:

kev-n:

The ol rrrrrrrazzle dazzle

The longer I watch, the funnier it gets

positive this guy got knocked out after that punch

tumblrsteakx10:

veganelfprincess:

kev-n:

The ol rrrrrrrazzle dazzle

The longer I watch, the funnier it gets

positive this guy got knocked out after that punch

Source: 12-gauge-rage
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ballerinasherlock:

danfreakindavis:

obama is fucking done with all this bullshit in that last gif

i think this is so important. omg. 

(via sexcake)

Source: beybad
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  • friend: *whispering* if you're stupid say "what"
  • me: what
  • friend: OH MAN
  • OH
  • OH DEAR FUCKING CHRIST
  • I GOT YOU SO GOOD, THAT WAS AWESOME
  • SWEET, SWEET DICKS IN MY MOUTH. I HAVE NEVER LAUGHED THIS HARD. EVER.
  • JESUS. JESUS HELP ME.
Source: xmementomori
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viva-la-heichou:

notarmin:

ratchet-jean:

 um.

YOU FUKCKER IM OGNNAT TEAR TOYU SO DOA[EPPAR E TI YOU SODMCSAKDKE  GMKYOU MADMKE IME CR YIGOGND I GM 

w h y d id you  d o THIS

(via ozthemagician)

Source: eating-out-kaneki
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marquise8ossyfangs:

strangelyobsessedwithstuff:

vialsofbrightforgettingpowders:

ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, TIME FOR SOME LEARNIN SO SIT OUR BITCH ASS DOWN AND GET OUT OUR NOTEPAD

THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE IS SUGAR SCRUB. YEAH I KNOW YOUVE SEEN IT BEFORE BUT YOU DONT KNOW WHAT I KNOW AND THAT WHEN YOU USE IT WITH ONE OF THESE FUCKERS

YOU WILL GET LEGS AND ARMS AND ANY OTHER SHIT YOU WANT THAT IS SO SOFT YOU WILL BE SHOVING IT IN THE FACE OF EVERYONE YOU KNOW AND ASKING THEM TO COMPARE IT TO THE TENDER PINK FLESH OF A NEWBORN

SO GET YOURSELF SOME FUCKING WHITE SUGAR AND SOME CHEAP ASS OIL LIKE CANOLA OR SOME SHIT AND MIX THAT SHIT WITH TWO PARTS SUGAR AND ONE PART OIL( THAT MEANS TWICE AS MUCH SUGAR AS OIL BITCHES I USUALLY USE ONE CUP OF SUGAR AND DO SOME FUCKING MATH TO FIGURE OUT HOW MUCH OIL THAT IS) DROP A FEW DROPS OF VANILLA ESSENCE OR MAYBE SOME FUCKING LAVENDER OIL WHATEVER YOU WANNA SMELL LIKE. MIX IT UP REALLY GOOD MMMM SMELLS LIKE CAKE BATTER FUCK YEAH.

NOW GET YOURSELF GOOD AND NAKED. REAL NAKED. PAMPER YOUR GODDESS-LIKE ASS WITH A BUBBLE BATH. TAKE ONE OF THOSE RAZORS YOU GOT AND SHAVE WHATEVER YOU LIKE TO SHAVE LEGS ARMS VAJAYJAY PITS I DONT FUCKING CARE.

NOW GET OUT OF THAT GROSS HAIRY DIRT WATER AND SIT ON THE EDGE OF THAT THERE BATHTUB. TAKE A HANDFUL OF THAT SWEET GOOP AND RUB IT ALL OVER THAT SKIN OF YOURS(just dont use this stuff on or near your lady bits i put this in lower case because it is really important your love cavern does not like sugar uh uh no way its diabetic) RUB RUB RUB KEEP RUBBIN YEAH YOUR HANDS STARTING TO FEEL WEIRD GOOD BECAUSE ITS WORKING

NOW TAKE THAT CHEAP-ASS DISPOSABLE RAZOR YOU HAVE AND SHAVE OFF THAT NASTY-ASS DEAD SKIN EWW ITS SO GROSS NO ITS NOT ITS YOUR OWN SKIN BUT ITS ALL GREY. RINSE OF THAT OILY STUFF BECAUSE YOUR SKIN AINT NO SLIP-N-SLIDE

GOOD NOW FEEL YOUR NEWFOUND SOFT SKIN THAT WAS ONCE BURIED UNDER LAYERS OF DEAD FLAKES OF YOUR PAST SELF YOUR WELCOME MOTHERFUCKERS CLASS DISMISSED

IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS POST FOR AGES
thanks for the tip karkat

(via madnessmedusa)

Source: sliceofbri
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photographerpunzie:

Just got this gem from my brother’s girlfriend

(via gymnocalycium)

Source: photographerpunzie
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m-e-s-t-i-z-a:

housewifeswag:

gayspicy:

im so fucked up over the fact that some countries have free college

and free healthcare 

Kinda like their government acknowledges that those are rights not privileges

(via at-the-corner-of-katie)

Source: gayspicy
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mizzhabibi:

dacuntgod:

sincerely-elsh:

pharoahking:

2damnfeisty:

materiajunkie:

"Curing AIDS? Shit, that’s like Cadillac making a car that lasts for 50 years. And you know they can do it, but they ain’t going to do nothing that fucking dumb. Shit, they got metal on the Space Shuttle that can go around the Moon and withstand  temperatures of up to 20,000 degrees, you mean to tell me you don’t think they can make an El Dorado with a fuckin’ bumper that don’t fall off?"

- Chris Rock (“Bigger and Blacker”, 1999)

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#staywoke

Polio was the last disease we cured…….back in the 50’s that was. Let that sink in for a moment.

where was aids before colonialism? It just magically appeared, despite Africans living,interacting, and thriving on the continent for millenia 

I bet everyone in that audience laughed but this is some real shit

2 real

(via txlover)

Source: materiajunkie
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idonegaffedit:

i accidentally told my friend the sweetest pick up line ever. i started talking about solipsism (the belief that everything around you was created by your mind) and i went “If everything around me is all my imagination, then you’re the best thing I’ve come up with” she was speechless for a solid five minutes.

(via teen-derp)

Source: idonegaffedit
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literallytrash:

itssexualhour:

My parents are both pastors and once I was fucking this one dude who’s dad was the pastor of the rival church and he whispered ‘talk biblical to me’ so i started reciting Psalms  23 and we ended up getting into a competition of who could recite the most bible versus before they cummed

you need less jesus

(via fantasy-is-toxic)

Source: itssexualhour